For nearly a year, Vronsky had chased this single, supreme goal, while Anna viewed it as an enchanting yet terrible dream of happiness that had finally come to pass. Pale and trembling, Vronsky stood near her, urging her to calm down even though he did not know how or why. Anna wept bitterly, pressing his hand to her chest and pleading for forgiveness as she sank toward the floor in deep humiliation. She felt overwhelmed by the realization that she had lost her honor, viewing herself as entirely culpable and possessing no one else in the world to turn to.
Looking at her, Vronsky experienced an acute sense of moral degradation and felt like an assassin standing over the lifeless body of a victim. The sacrifice they had made was the first phase of their love, now destroyed and replaced by an atmosphere of guilt and shame. Yet, driven by the compulsion to embrace what they had bought at such a high cost, he showered her shoulders and head with kisses. Anna lifted his hand and kissed it in return, acknowledging that he was her accomplice in this irrevocable choice, before pushing him away with a sudden surge of dread.
Declaring that everything was finished and that he was now her only remaining connection, Anna forbade him from speaking any further about the situation. She found herself utterly unable to articulate the complex mix of fear, shame, and dread that consumed her, preferring to push away any rational reflection until a time when she might feel calmer. That mental calm never arrived, and whenever she attempted to contemplate her future or what she had done, anxiety forced her to retreat into silence and postponement.
Her inner turmoil eventually surfaced most vividly in her sleep through a recurring nightmare that plagued her nights. In this dream, both men existed simultaneously as her husbands, sharing her life and caresses while expressing contentment with the arrangement. Although the dream seemed simple and resolved within the vision, it weighed on her like a heavy nightmare and invariably woke her with a deep sense of terror.